Last week I talked about the best jobs to work at the Disney-MGM Studios in my opinion. These were the ones I would admit to fantasizing about at one point in time or another because I felt they would be fun to work on an everyday basis. And with the cast member positions that I dream about, there are the occupations I shiver and shake my head to. So here are the jobs I’d like no part of.
Attraction Trainer – Being a trainer means teaching a role to someone new. The first few times it might be interesting to share your knowledge with someone but after a while, it’s going to get old really fast. Attractions tend to have high turnover so that will mean a lot of new trainees who are soon replaced by other bright-eyed, bushy tailed recruits that will then continue the trend. When it comes to Disney, attractions they are often operated by young adults, many of which are college program kids (college students who spend a semester working for Disney) who are far from mature and can be a real task to train. Then you have the different kind of personalities that come with trying to train someone: the stubborn ones, the uninterested ones, the ones suffering from ADD and so on.
Parade detail – Working parade means you basically setup the barriers before the parade, then ensure the guests stay in their corralled areas without destroying Disney property while in there and then following the parade take down the barriers and put everything away. Most of the time you’re telling guests to move back behind the rope and of course hear the parade music everyday at 3pm which will likely burn a hole into one’s temple after a while. Admittedly, it does not help that I’m not the afternoon parade type so that may factor into my disdain for this duty.
Great Movie Ride guide – Some people think it’s fun to be one of the people driving the vehicle and narrating through the movies but to me, it’s not fun because of the major shortcoming of a very strict script. Unlike the Jungle Cruise, there’s no room for adlibbing or creativity. It’s the same lines, over and over and I can deal with a script but there’s so much potential for fun in adlibbing and making it more fun for the guest that it kills me to think about reciting the same spiel over and over again when I can think of a half dozen funny jokes to say.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Playground cast member – This is as close as one can get to professional babysitter without calling yourself that. This attraction is an open ended one in that guests don’t have to leave at any set interval; they enter and stay for as long as they like. Being that the attraction is geared towards younger kids, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of kicking, screaming, crying and other forms of temper tantrums. Look, I like the kids and they are fun but without the ability to eject a kid from the attraction in some sort of ejection seat (a-la fighter jet) type mechanism, it would be hell for me to deal with all those kids.
Any position related to Super Soap /Star Wars Weekend – These special events have the stigma of bringing with them very “energetic” guests (that’s putting it gently). I like going to Star Wars Weekend but to work it or Super Soap would require me to deal with huge crowds who are foaming at the mouth for events, celebrities and overpriced merchandise and they need me to be their enabler. Thanks, but no thanks. I’d much rather spend my time attending these events and not working it.